Piercing Debacle

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When I was 13 years old I decided that I wanted my nose pierced. My mother was fine with it, but I had to do it myself. So I sat for hours with ice cubes pressed against my nose trying to numb it. I placed the ring in the perfect spot, went to pop it through my nostril, and couldn't do it.

I let it go over the years, and didn't really pay it much mind.

Then around 23 I started wanted to get my nose pierced again, but Justin hated nose piercings so I never did it. I didn't want it to gross him out, and he said they grossed him out. But secretly I dreamed of piercings- it is just part of the artsy fartsy family I belong to. :-)

Over the years Michael and I have bonded with our bizarre style. He has been dying his hair since he was 4, he got his first piercing at 6....he loves all of that stuff. Many of his clothes are from Hot Topic, or the retro clothes from Goodwill. I love having this bond with him since Samuel is such a typical child, with boring style. (We bond over different things, but fashion is not one of them.)

Tonight I went in my room and pierced my nose (and no, it didn't hurt). I was so excited when I went into Michael's room, I KNEW he would love it. I figured Samuel would be upset, he doesn't handle change well. Boy was I wrong in this situation.

Samuel was upset, but he was mostly upset because of how hurt Michael was. When Michael saw me he said nothing, which is weird for him. I smiled and asked if he loved it!!?? He said, "It's fake, I know it." I told him it wasn't, then he quietly went to lay in his bed. Next thing I know, he is crying so HARD that he cannot even catch his breath. I went in to see what was wrong but he would not talk to me.

I gave him space, sometimes Michael needs space before he can open up.

About thirty minutes later he came into my room and sat on my bed. I asked him if it was the piercing that was upsetting him like this, or something else. After all, he is sick right now, so it could have been anything. He said it was the piercing.

This is so different than the Michael I know. :-(

Then he blurts out that someone that he hates has a nose ring and he didn't want me to be like that at all. I was heartbroken, I had no idea. I said, "Michael all you had to do was tell me and I would have taken it out that second." He was happy to hear me say that. And ultimately I did take it out, because he does not need to be hurt anymore than he already has in the short 9 years he has been here. I am not going to screw with his emotions, I love him, and I want him to be feel stable and comfortable with me.

We will revisit the nose ring issue in a year or so, when he feels more stable. Who knows, by then he may want something weird...and then I will have the "you can if I can" leverage. :-)