Scatterbrained.

What a long, hectic week it has been. Whoo! So glad it is over...almost.

The kiddos had their first week of school, Samuel had too many doc appts., I got terrific news from one friend, and heartbreaking news from another, I have done enough paperwork to make my head spin, I am pet sitting all weekend and babysitting tomorrow, I have lists and lists of stuff I need to get for my fall semester, and last but not least...the kiddos got netbooks today.

Man, I said that all in one breath. ;-) Which really makes me ponder why I even bothered with the commas. Hmm.

Okay, we will start from the top and work down...

The kids had a GREAT first week of school. I honestly think it has been the best first week that they have ever had. They both came home everyday chatting up a storm, and floating on cloud nine. Samuel has a jam packed schedule with everything from JH Orchestra, to Pre-Algebra, to SEARCH (gifted), to Chess Club. Luckily, there is another girl that is on the same level as Samuel academically, and they share a schedule. He was mad at her the first day though, she led them into 9th grade math, not 7th grade. LOL So funny. Michael talks about all the special things they get to do this year, he is so excited. At one point they get to make a "frog board" that tells everything that they like. Michael CANNOT wait for this. Michael will also start divorce counseling at school...he will be in the elementary children's divorce support group. I am so thankful for that because he is still struggling. Samuel is also having some moderate to severe abandonment issues, but keeping busy is his therapy. I know God will help them this school1 year, after all, we are already blessed that they are there.

Samuel's appointments went well. His thyroid and a1c counts are all in normal range. So we are assuming that the excessive thirst is still his body's way of healing from the C Diff. His immuno counts were also good...except for the asthma ones. His asthma was not being controlled well enough, which explains his extreme fatigue. The doc put him on two meds twice a day for the rest of his childhood. He also HAS to use his rescue inhaler before gym or anything that is active. He still has to see a GI doc, but things are really looking up for my little turkey.

I can't say what news I have received from which friends...but they know who they are. To the one with GREAT news, congrats doll. You deserve this more than anyone I know, and I love you, and you will be in my thoughts every step of the way. :) To my friend with heartbreaking news, I know what you are going through. We serve a great God and He will heal this situation. I love you, and I will be praying for you.

The paperwork...eh...not getting into it.

Right now we have Oscar Mayer Weiner over at our house. We were watching him today so my Frendy could go to CP, but she got rained out. :-( BUT...she gets to go Sunday, YAY! So her baby boy is just gonna stay with me through the weekend. He loves visiting his friends anyway. Tomorrow morning I am babysitting, but only for a few hours. My friend has to work on a Saturday, which is a fluke thing. But I am so cool with it because my kiddos love playing with her kids.

My semester starts on Monday, w00t w00t! I am so excited, more than I've ever been. I need the work to keep my mind occupied. I am even ready to conquer my math fears, I'm telling you, it's a new chapter for Miss Hollie. I still gotta get all my stuff, but I am never one to stress about that kid of stuff. I have been known to wait until the 3rd week of classes to get my books. No point in stressing over the small stuff.

And lastly, my boys got Verizon netBooks today. Their grandma is spoiling them rotten. :) No, she just loves them, and wants them to have something nice since they are going through so much. And let me tell you, their brave little faces, and faithful little attitudes make me KNOW that they deserved this special treat. Basically a netBook is a mini laptop with internet capabilities ANYWHERE you are. So they can surf the web in the car. I gotta say, I am a wee bit jealous. My mom did some hardcore wheeling and dealing and got Verizon to sell her the netBooks at buy one get one free. Yeppers, you heard me right. They are running a special if you buy a Blackberry you can get a free netBook...my mom said she wanted two netBooks...they said no. We walked out...they called and said okay. :-) Yay. My kids were so happy. They have been in their beds giggling up a storm playing games online. I am so happy for them.

Okay y'all, I gotta go to bed, I am whooped.

Seeing is "Bee"lieving.

Okay, so obviously Samuel had a sucko first day...anyone who looked like that would. :-) But he made it funny for his friends, and in the end, he was fine with being my little ogre. ;)

He had a bee crawl on his face yesterday, and he said, "Look mom, what a nice bee."

Then it stung him. LOL

He cried, but the pain went away after a Benedryl and some Advil. This morning he woke up and it had doubled in size, and it just keeps growing throughout the day.

(I cannot stop laughing to type this.)

The doc said to continue with the same meds I am giving him, plus cold compresses. All three things have done nothing to help him. My friend Pam sent me a suggestion, so we are gonna try that next. The pain isn't an issue as much as the SEVERE itching.

Luckily, my little guy can take a joke, and he has heard them all today. At one point he looked at me and said, "Bee-lieve me mom, EYE love you!" hehe

School days.

My two favorite people in the whole world start school tomorrow. They are both already tucked into bed and dreaming about their first day. I am so excited for them, they cannot wait! It is like Christmas Eve in our house. I feel like I have given the "if you fall asleep the time will pass faster" speech too may times. Sadly, my red-headed pumpkin has to do to the doctor on the first day of school. I am hoping he will only miss an hour or so. Better than Kelsea who will miss the entire week!!! (AHEM MIZZ KIM!!!) ;)

I want to reiterate just how miraculous it is that my boys will be attending LCCS this year. I knew God wanted them at that school, I KNEW IT. And it perfect timing, they got to go- praise be to God.

I also wanted to thank my mom, for risking so much (panic button) to make sure my kids are there. I love you.

When the cats away!

Okay, when I left the birthday party last night, things got crazy. You know, when the cats away, the mice will play. And mice played like nobody's business! Here are some pics that Wendy and John took once I was gone...









Word on the street is....Samuel got this drag party started! LOL He makes me so proud!

What goes around...

...comes around. I totally believe that.

Anywho.

Today was a rough day, but luckily my support entourage was there to see me through it. Everyone from my mom to my brother to my best friends were there for me, offering to help me with anything I needed. It was a blessing.

It is easy to let go of your faith during the fire, but I believe that only the weak do that. I will remain strong through every fire, and I know that God will bring me through it all. I will be a stronger, better woman in the end. All I want is to be the woman, mother, friend, daughter, and sister that God wants me to be.

My boys also had a rough day today as well. But Samuel spent a lot of time in prayer, and he is much better now. He is my prayer warrior. Michael cried a lot, but he finally got better. They both went to a birthday party tonight, and that has really helped their minds stay busy. :-) What a PERFECT time for them to get invited to a party. God also works things out in PERFECT time.

Okay, here is one of the pics from tonight, but be sure to check them all out on FB...

Goodbye Colonial Times

Wow! It seems like forever since I have blogged. Sickness, stress, and no computer are all to blame. But I am back up and running now, so my daily blogs will begin again. I am not gonna get into a lot of deep thoughts tonight, just wanna do a quickie to catch everyone up.

Before I start, I want you all to check out our newest Youtube vid of the Top Thrill Dragster at CP. We went with my brother and his fam, and this was the first ride everyone rode. You have to pause it to see everyone, but they are all there, all six of them....




Also I hope that everyone has had the chance to sign in to Facebook and check out our new zoo and CP pics.

Okay...let's play catch up...

Everyone in the home is almost completely better now! WHOO HOO! Samuel has gained almost all of his weight back, and he is at about 80% of his normal energy. We are so blessed, and it was all in perfect timing, school starts tomorrow.

Speaking of school, I was really worried about the kids not having the beloved school this year. I absolutely could not afford it, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. But God always shows up, right on time. Today, my mom got a part time job that will pay for the boys' school payment. It will still be rough, but I think it is manageable. No one could possibly understand what an amazing blessing this is for us. My boys adore that school, and I BELIEVE that God wants them there.

Tomorrow we have to go to orientation with the boys, they can't wait to see their friends. :-) LCCS has a really neat orientation, the kids can unpack their supplies then the do a big luncheon for everyone. It is a really fun day. After we leave, they boys were invited to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheeses. It should be a fin day for them.

I start school on Monday, and believe it or not, I am excited. I cannot wait for the three of us to get back into our normal routine. I am taking some classes with my friend Wendy, so that should be a lot of fun. School is always more fun when you have someone to do it with.

A quick update on my divorce is...we have a court date in a few weeks for temporary orders. My lawyer said it would still be a while before the actual divorce date is set. But I am sure everyone is keeping up with the case on the Portage County Public Access site. I am no stranger to looking up cases, we all do it! ;) Anywho, I so do not want to get into this story tonight, maybe later this week. If you can't wait, just email me and I will give you the Reader's Digest version until I have more time (and brain power) to blog.

Oh, and I also wanted to bring up my friend Deb...God has answered her prayers. She had a successful surgery on her foot, and things are finally looking up. I am hoping she is well enough to blog about it soon, I can't wait to read the entire story!! :)

Okay, I suppose this is enough for now. Just wanted to give a quick shout out to Sam for connecting me back to the real world. I felt like I was living in colonial times without my computer. :-)

Par for the course.

I am sure most of you know by now that I have been super sick, which is why I haven't blogged in forever. Well, I am still super sick, but I am having a brief good moment, so I thought I would blog.

Samuel is still improving, but at a slow pace. He is still only up to 90 pounds, he needs to get back to 98 pounds. He gained 2 pounds back in a week, and has had the hardest time gaining more than that. His energy level is still down, but again, he is slowly getting better about that too. We also saw his Immunologist who ran a plethora of tests...we get those back in two weeks. If they come back bad (as we suspect) he will have to get shots. Samuel will also have to see a GI doc soon. I am sure he will just love that.

We have had a few meetings at LCCS, and prayer with the elementary and secondary principals...and here is what we have decided what to do about his schooling...

Samuel was stressing out about leaving his friends and getting picked on by older kids. The school was worried that older kids would pressure him into things he wouldn't normally do. Even if it was a simple as "being to cool to care about school." However, after speaking with Samuel, and his teachers, and reviewing test scores...he is way above kids that are his age. His IQ is way out in space somewhere, and he gets bored with his work in school. Both principals agreed that Samuel is not your "typical" case by any means. The decision that we finally came to was...Samuel would stay in a 6th grade classroom, with peers his age, so he could continue with the relationships he has already built. BUT...he will do 7th grade work. :-) The only thing that we aren't sure about is orchestra...they want to fit him into the middle school orchestra...but we aren't sure if we can work it into his schedule. Also, his 6th grade teacher will be able to advance all subjects except for math...he has to walk down to the 7th grade halls for math. They are also giving him the option of taking tests early in the week if he already knows the material...this will help prevent boredom, and keep him loving school. Boredom has always been my biggest fear, but LCCS has done a phenomenal job working this out with me, and Samuel will get tokeep his friends. And the tuition won't go up since it will still be considered "elementary."

Speaking of tuition, I still don't have any. First payment is due Monday and I am still scratching my head as to how I'm gonna get it. We shall see. If God wants them at LCCS he will provide a way. If not, I can accept that too. :-)

Michael and I both have Strep right now. The doc called me today about how fast my culture grew...she was like, "DO NOT MISS AN ANTIBIOTIC DOSE!!" I feel like crap, so lethargic. I am also running a fever, which is no fun. And, battling nausea. And my throat is covered in pus (see pic at bottom). Michael is not really dealing with any of the hardcore Strep symptoms, and the doc suspects he doesn't respond in a typical fashion because he is a carrier.

On another note, we had the most beautiful storms (see pics at bottom)lately. It looks so gorgeous outside that I just had to pull myself out of bed and go snap a few photos, I didn't want to miss the opportunity. However, it wasn't that simple. During the storms my computer tower went out. My computer genius brother thinks the lightning caused it, once he confirms it we will file a home owner's insurance claim. I feel like I am living in the stone age without my computer right now...and I start a full KSU workload in 2 weeks...ALL ONLINE. That is just par for the course I'm playing, huh??

Okay, I am starting to feel sick, I can't type anymore. Hopefully I can add to my blog world tomorrow.

Enjoy the pics...

Samuel playing Gameboy in bed...wishing he felt well enough to go swimming...




Michael not wanting his picture taken because he felt sick...



Tired Lola...



Look at how this rain was falling, it seemed like it was moving in slow motion, you can click the pic to enlarge it...



The beautiful leaves covered in rain drops...



The sun through the trees...



Okay, here it is ;), my throat...yes, it is blurry, but do you know how hard it is to get a pic of your throat?!?!?! But, I was so shocked when I saw it I had to get a pic. You all know how I capture EVERY moment of our lives. :) So here it is...you should be able to see all the white goo everywhere...

I don't want to blog.

I don't what's up tonight, but I am in a funk. I don't want to blog or chat or anything. And to top it off, I have no TV to veg out with. Sucky night. Luckily my cable will be back on tomorrow. And hopefully my funk is just PMS. I hate feeling like this...I much prefer my bubbly persona.

Since I am blogging against my will, I will go ahead and do the blog I wanted to do.

I am terrified that I will forget names, but here goes...

I want to thank all of my friends from the bottom of my heart for all of their help throughout this horrible ordeal. Every time I break down crying, I know I can call any of you to help calm me. Thank you for that, all of you. I love each and every one of you...

(Just friends, not family, that was my last blog.)

Deb- for talking to me at 2am if I needed you, and I have, a lot.

Wendy and Dawn- for keeping me strong at Relay, you knew how hard that was.

Pam- for making me laugh sharing your thoughts about the situation.

Kim- for offering your cows. ;-)

Joel and Kristin- for helping both of my babies through this, you are amazing parents.

Michelle- for making me feel like such a strong woman.

Amber- girl you know why.

Amy- for getting me and Mindy back together.

Mindy- for be such a great friend that is always willing to keep me company.

Debbie- for your kind words after TRIBE that day.

Heather- for your kind email telling me your story.

Moriah- for the conversation, you know which one.

Joy- for the compassion you have shown me.

Katie- for always being so understanding with all of us.

April- for reminding that God will see me through.

Shelly- for your willingness to talk online every time I was hurting.

Maggie- for help with finals when I needed it the most.

LCCS Staff- for helping through the toughest of tough times, I would have been lost without all of you.

KSU Spring Profs- for understanding my situation and giving the much needed extensions when I could not fathom writing a paper or taking and exam.

I know, I know, I know...I probably forgot a million people, but I hope not. And if you have touched my life, then you know it! And I didn't mean to forget anyone, I am sorry if I did.

I love my friends, they are amazing. I only said one small thing about each, but I know that I could have hundreds of things about each...you are all so amazing.

XOXO

Just Updates - Nothing Special

Okay...I guess I will update a few issues tonight...

Samuel-

He is doing much better today. I took him out for an hour or so, but after that he needed to come home and sleep. The doctor said he needs to REST REST REST for the next few weeks. He is so mad about that. I also have to take him to a GI doctor to find out why he got C Diff. The doc said it is so uncommon in kids, almost unheard of...and their office has NEVER had a case of C Diff in a child. I also have to take him to an ENT to see if removing his tonsils and adenoids will reduce the risk of Strep enough to go through with it. But before all of that, we have to go to his immunologist (on the 19th) to see what in the world is going on in his tiny body. I just know he is gonna get poked and prodded, I am not looking forward to that day. Please keep praying for my baby...his little body has a hard time fighting infections. I know that God can pull him through this...so believers, BELIEVE WITH ME!


Michael-

Believe this or not...Michael is getting sick. He has been having on and off nausea and sore throat. If he doesn't start to improve by Thursday I am taking him in. Just to be sure that he doesn't have strep or something that he can give to Samuel. Michael fights off illnesses very well, he is my normal kid. I am so GRATEFUL to have a normal kid!! :) He goes to the Endo at the end of the month for his yearly thyroid check-up...pray that everything comes back normal. We really don't want him to ever have to go on Synthroid again if we can help it.


Me-

I am still continuing to take things day by day...sometimes hour by hour. But God has really seen me through this, and I handle each day a little better. Sometimes my mind will wonder back to the early days of our marriage and dating...that is what sets me off...so I try to stay occupied. I am still struggling with this whole single parenting thing, it is NO cake walk. I think that things will get easier when school starts back for all three of us. I am still trying to come up with the boys' school money, but I haven't a dime of it yet. I got the monthly payment book in the mail last week, it will be over 600 a month...and that is WITH the 2000 dollar scholarship they were awarded. I am so thankful that school gave us anything, and 2000 is a lot of money. It was a blessing to me. It may be a blessing for another family if I can't come up with the rest of it. I do everything I can no to bounce stuff, and my bills are slowly drowning us. But at the end of the day, I have to trust God to see us through this...He always ALWAYS has. Like I have said many times, I have been through MANY fires that God helped me through.


Faith-

Let me just tell you something...it is so easy to lay in bed and think and cry instead of calling out to God. At first, I felt guilty for calling out to God, like I only called on Him when I needed Him. But I could not get through those first days without Him. Slowly I started to get better and I noticed that my prayer life wasn't as strong as it was when all of this first happened. The guilt was horrible. I had so much on my mind that I didn't want to pray. I know how very wrong that is, I don't need anyone to preach at me. I am a once saved always saved person...so I was never one of those "if I don't pray everyday I will go to hell." The bottom line is, if you are truly saved, you will WANT to pray, and you will WANT a relationship with God. And of course I did want that. And I am not someone to ever abandon my beliefs or even question them, or even question God about my life circumstances...that is just not who I am. I am just saying that I am human, and I let flesh take over, and let my spiritual life slide. But I don't want that to happen again, I want to stay on track, no matter how complicated life gets. You know, I am not sure why I even felt the need to share this. Hmm.


Family-

I have said it a million times, but my mom and Steve have been my rock throughout this entire ordeal. They continue to help me with every single extra dime that they have, and it is seriously hurting them financially. But they want the kids and I to be taken care of. What an amazing love they have shown us. They not only help us financially, but also spiritually. When we start to get down, they quickly lift us up with scriptures that apply to our very need. God has given them so much wisdom in how to deal with others in pain.

I am also thankful that God mended the relationship with my brother and I. When we quit talking so many years ago, I spent at least a dozen nights crying about how much I missed him. I would pray and pray that God would one day help us reunite, and He has. :)


Okay....I was gonna get into FRIENDS....but it is 11...and that is gonna be one long subject. Maybe that will be my blog tomorrow, dedicated to each and every one of you have helped throughout this...and I am naming names!!!! :o)~

The Letter

Okay...here goes...

It has probably been two weeks now since I wrote each of my boys a letter. It was late one night and went in their room to check on them. I got to think about how very much I loved them. So I decided to write them each a letter that they could keep forever.

Basically the letter was just saying how proud I was of who they have become, and how much I loved them, and how I will always be there for them, and how proud I am that they are such strong Christians. You know, mom stuff.

Much to my surprise, both boys read the letters and came into my room frantically crying and couldn't catch their breath. I had NO CLUE what had made them react like this to a sweet note.

After I calmed them, Samuel blurted out, "We thought you were leaving us with a note since dad left you with a note."

OH MY GOSH! I was so shocked that they would even think that. :-( I did a lot of crying that night after they went to bed.

I spent TWO HOURS...yes, TWO...talking to them about how I was in this thing forever. There is no getting rid of me. I also told them that I would NEVER EVER EVER give them bad news in a note, I would talk to them about it. After I said this a billion and one times, they finally started to realize that notes are not always bad.

Even after they were calm, Michael continued to say that he would rather me tell him how much I love him instead of writing him a note. I explained that I wrote it so he would have it forever. Samuel understood that and said he still wants to get notes from me, he likes the idea of it. But Michael NEVER wants to see a note again. :-( I do believe that he will work past that fear one day.

I love these two boys more than anything in this world. Words cannot describe how I feel about them. I would do anything for them, anything to protect them, and anything to keep them happy and healthy. I just hope that they grow up to know how much their mom loves them.

Holler!