Sunday, July 18, 2010
Just some pics...
Too tired to talk, but here are some pics from the last 2 days! Click to enlarge them! :)
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Forgive.
I just feel like blogging, not really sure what about, just wanna talk (or type).
Most of my close friends know that I have made a vow in my life to not have enemies. I do not want the word HATE to be in my vocabulary. God commands us to forgive, so I do my very best to forgive everything. I also do my best to apologize quickly when I am wrong.
I have had to forgive some pretty big stuff in my life...such as, my biological father being the drug/alcohol addicted, non-family man that he was. Or my grandparents for the emotion and physical abuse that they dealt out to all four of their children. And let us not forget when I was dropped on my butt with two kids, and left with no stability. Big stuff, and this does not even scratch the surface.
But, being a sinner, saved by grace, I know forgiveness is not something that God suggests, He commands it. How can I expect to be forgiven of my sins, if I cannot forgive others? And honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I have forgiven everyone, and I am truly at peace in my heart.
Lately things have been getting more difficult for me, and I DO NOT want to fall into the unforgiving person I USED to be. So I am praying for strength and wisdom with each situation as it arises.
Oddly enough, forgiving the horrible things that family has done is EASIER than forging friends when they betray me. I am not sure why, it should be easier. Maybe it is because I choose my friends and I expect more from them. Maybe I feel more obligated to forgive family, you know, since they are family. I don't know...
I DO KNOW, that I have to work through this, because when I made that vow (to not have enemies) I was serious, and I take vows VERY seriously. I just need to figure out a way to forgive, and move on, without becoming more angry or upset.
I have a tendency to allow friends to walk on me, I always have, and probably always will. I have accepted that this is simply something I cannot change about my personality. I wish I was more like my mother, and could speak my mind more. But then again, I know the life she had to live in order to be so vocal, so maybe I should not complain...I had an amazing childhood where I knew I had a mom that would ALWAYS be there for me!
I have decided that I will just back out of the picture when I feel like I am being used. That is not necessarily a bad thing, friendships fade over time, and I feel like I have some that are simply fading. :'( It is sad, but in order to keep my sanity, I have to let go. I hate seeing a chapter end, no matter if it is a friend, family, job, hobby, anything...
I also hate fighting with friends. Have you ever had a friend that you actually fought with? I never have until my late 20s, and let me just say, not my cup of tea. I am an adult, the only people that I should be fighting with are my kids and boyfriends! Because you cannot help but fight with your kids, and every good relationship has fighting, otherwise you are not connecting. Other than those two scenarios, I have no reason to FIGHT with anyone, maybe disagree, but not fight.
I have some of the best girlfriends in the world, friends that have my back through think and thin! I have a family that most people would give anything for, a network that is so strong it CANNOT be broken. It just kills me that I struggle with a few friendships. But again, it is better to bow out, and move on, instead of living in anger. That way forgiveness is easier...and as you have heard a million times by now, I HAVE to forgive...I even WANT to forgive. Really.
Okay, I feel like I have chatted enough. Hehe. :) Plus....THE DECISION....is coming on in 20 minutes, I would not want to interfere with such pressing, worldwide news! =D (BTW, I hope he goes so Cleveland will show some "real" news stories!)
Most of my close friends know that I have made a vow in my life to not have enemies. I do not want the word HATE to be in my vocabulary. God commands us to forgive, so I do my very best to forgive everything. I also do my best to apologize quickly when I am wrong.
I have had to forgive some pretty big stuff in my life...such as, my biological father being the drug/alcohol addicted, non-family man that he was. Or my grandparents for the emotion and physical abuse that they dealt out to all four of their children. And let us not forget when I was dropped on my butt with two kids, and left with no stability. Big stuff, and this does not even scratch the surface.
But, being a sinner, saved by grace, I know forgiveness is not something that God suggests, He commands it. How can I expect to be forgiven of my sins, if I cannot forgive others? And honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I have forgiven everyone, and I am truly at peace in my heart.
Lately things have been getting more difficult for me, and I DO NOT want to fall into the unforgiving person I USED to be. So I am praying for strength and wisdom with each situation as it arises.
Oddly enough, forgiving the horrible things that family has done is EASIER than forging friends when they betray me. I am not sure why, it should be easier. Maybe it is because I choose my friends and I expect more from them. Maybe I feel more obligated to forgive family, you know, since they are family. I don't know...
I DO KNOW, that I have to work through this, because when I made that vow (to not have enemies) I was serious, and I take vows VERY seriously. I just need to figure out a way to forgive, and move on, without becoming more angry or upset.
I have a tendency to allow friends to walk on me, I always have, and probably always will. I have accepted that this is simply something I cannot change about my personality. I wish I was more like my mother, and could speak my mind more. But then again, I know the life she had to live in order to be so vocal, so maybe I should not complain...I had an amazing childhood where I knew I had a mom that would ALWAYS be there for me!
I have decided that I will just back out of the picture when I feel like I am being used. That is not necessarily a bad thing, friendships fade over time, and I feel like I have some that are simply fading. :'( It is sad, but in order to keep my sanity, I have to let go. I hate seeing a chapter end, no matter if it is a friend, family, job, hobby, anything...
I also hate fighting with friends. Have you ever had a friend that you actually fought with? I never have until my late 20s, and let me just say, not my cup of tea. I am an adult, the only people that I should be fighting with are my kids and boyfriends! Because you cannot help but fight with your kids, and every good relationship has fighting, otherwise you are not connecting. Other than those two scenarios, I have no reason to FIGHT with anyone, maybe disagree, but not fight.
I have some of the best girlfriends in the world, friends that have my back through think and thin! I have a family that most people would give anything for, a network that is so strong it CANNOT be broken. It just kills me that I struggle with a few friendships. But again, it is better to bow out, and move on, instead of living in anger. That way forgiveness is easier...and as you have heard a million times by now, I HAVE to forgive...I even WANT to forgive. Really.
Okay, I feel like I have chatted enough. Hehe. :) Plus....THE DECISION....is coming on in 20 minutes, I would not want to interfere with such pressing, worldwide news! =D (BTW, I hope he goes so Cleveland will show some "real" news stories!)
Monday, July 5, 2010
Ohio ROX my SOX! ;)
Hey all, just wanted to give everyone a heads up on some amazing events that are coming to Ohio soon! :-)
If you are down Cincinnati way, be sure to hit up Kings Island July 8-10 for SPIRIT SONG 2010...there will be some big names there, like TobyMac! Here is the LINK.
July 17th some really cool Christian artists (rap, hip hop) will be at Lake Center Christian in Hartville. This is sure to be a great concert, you can hear ads for it on AlternaFish every Sat. and Sun. night, 95.5. Here is the LINK.
If you want some good, clean comedy, be sure to check out Tim Hawkins and John Branyan when they come to Youngstown on July 25th! Here is the LINK!
Point Fest will be coming to Cedar Point on September 18th. You can see Casting Crowns (AMAZING), Family Force 5, Remedy Drive, and more. Here is the LINK.
If you can't make it to Kings Island and still wanna hear TobyMac (w/ Max Lucado, Third Day, and Michael W. Smith) then check out his concert in Youngstown on September 30th! I am sure it is gonna be amazing, Michael is trying to save up money for us to go (he is a sweetie) for my birthday! Here is the LINK.
As you can see, there is a lot of amazing stuff coming up, I hope you all get a chance to make it to at least one of these. If I forgot something just let me know!
If you are down Cincinnati way, be sure to hit up Kings Island July 8-10 for SPIRIT SONG 2010...there will be some big names there, like TobyMac! Here is the LINK.
July 17th some really cool Christian artists (rap, hip hop) will be at Lake Center Christian in Hartville. This is sure to be a great concert, you can hear ads for it on AlternaFish every Sat. and Sun. night, 95.5. Here is the LINK.
If you want some good, clean comedy, be sure to check out Tim Hawkins and John Branyan when they come to Youngstown on July 25th! Here is the LINK!
Point Fest will be coming to Cedar Point on September 18th. You can see Casting Crowns (AMAZING), Family Force 5, Remedy Drive, and more. Here is the LINK.
If you can't make it to Kings Island and still wanna hear TobyMac (w/ Max Lucado, Third Day, and Michael W. Smith) then check out his concert in Youngstown on September 30th! I am sure it is gonna be amazing, Michael is trying to save up money for us to go (he is a sweetie) for my birthday! Here is the LINK.
As you can see, there is a lot of amazing stuff coming up, I hope you all get a chance to make it to at least one of these. If I forgot something just let me know!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Thought provoking...
Just a few neat questions, with my answers. :-) Feel free to answer them yourself in the comment section.
What would you do if you were certain that nobody would judge your choices?
Live in an tent. I would bathe in rivers, swim in springs, observe nature daily and nightly. I went camping recently and had to live in a tent for four days, and it was such a freeing experience. All materialistic things were not even in my mind. I got to spend quality time with people I love, worship my Maker all day and night, sit by campfires enjoying music from our own mouths, and just have an overwhelming feeling of joy fill my body and soul. It made me realize how materialistic the world has become, and quickly we have forgotten the "free beauty" all around us. No, it is not a PERFECT lifestyle...there are insects, and extreme temperatures, and storms! But, I made it through all of that and still preferred that lifestyle. If no one would judge or criticize me, I guarantee you my boys and I would be living at a campground from April to October every year. Seriously.
What are your three "nevers" in life?
1. Never talk MORE than you listen.
2. Never betray someones trust.
3. Never allow your faith to be shaken, or be persuaded to "bend" on certain standpoints in your beliefs.
Which is a stronger emotion: anger or love?
I am definitely gonna have to go with love. I have been on both sides of this coin, and I can say with 100% certainty that love is much stronger.
When I get angry I will fly off the handle, no doubt about it. Especially if I am angry because my boys were wronged in some way or another. However, once the anger has passed, and the situation is in a better place, your mind will let go of those memories over time. I can't even begin to name all the things I have been angry about.
Love is a different story, I can tell you ever time my heart has been broken. When you fall in love, you are in a completely vulnerable state (unless you are not loving whole-heartily). That vulnerability will cause so much more pain! Every time I have been hurt by love, it leaves scars that never fully go away. I also can't forget the pain that love caused, but I can slowly forget anger.
If you look at love and anger in a different light, I still believe love is stronger...
When I love, I love with every fiber of my being. When I give my heart, it is in it's entirety. Loving another is the best gift you can give another person. My "love" towards others will always outweigh anger. I can love my son with everything in me, and I can be angry at him with everything in me....but honestly, the love will always be stronger.
I think a lot of my opinions on this have to do with my faith. God says to love your neighbors as yourself, and to love and obey your spouse, ans to love your children, etc.... Love is very important to God. And if you can't love others as HE loves US, how can you expect joy in your life?
The Bible also speaks about anger, and how we should control it. We should turn the other cheek, forgive those who trespass against us, etc... Instead of rising up in anger, we should try to turn that emotion into love. I said TRY, I know it is hard.
Would you give your life to save someone else's?
I can look at this question from two standpoints, physically and spiritually.
Physically speaking I would say yes I could easily give my life to save my boys' lives. I think that ANY mother would be able to say the same, it is our instinct. And since we have such strong maternal instinct, we want to protect others. So if I were caught in the middle of some disaster with my family of friends, I may jump in to help, I don't think I could run or sit and watch, even if it meant losing my life.
Spiritually speaking the answer is YES. No questions asked. If my life could be used to save even ONE could from eternal damnation, then dying would totally be worth it. I want to see everyone saved, and sometimes people need a dramatic sign (like death) from God to change their lives. I would hope that all Bible believing Christians are with me on this!
Can you describe your life with a six word sentence?
Confessed my sins, will live eternally.
What is the difference between living and existing?
I think this question is super easy. :)
Existing is just doing the bare minimum in life...waking up, eating, bathing, etc... You really have no goals, or beliefs, and you are just waiting for you time here to be up.
Living is...well, LIVING! Going about and beyond the daily life routines. Making sure you enjoy your time with others, tucking your kids in at night, praying, setting goals, having a walk with God, watching the clouds pass by in the sky, being grateful for small things, smiling, making sure you do everything you want to do....no regrets!
Are you aware that someone has it worse than you?
Always. I say this to my boys all the time. It is so easy to sink into self pity when the world seems to continuously crash down around you, but you have to keep your head held high. When money troubles get to me, I think of homeless people, or people with no food or clothing. I am blessed with what I have. When I get upset about my cancer, I think of the parents that will watch their toddler die from the disease this month. I am thankful I am not living in a hospital like so many others. When I get depressed about restructuring my life as a single parent, I think about the nurse that told me her husband left her after 30 years of marriage, for a YOUNG woman. She had never worked, and she never saw it coming. I am thankful mine was only 10 years, I cannot imagine 30...I am blessed.
Time or money?
Time.
Money buys you trouble and gets you into sin.
Time will get you more evening with your children, more sunrises, more of everything that truly matters.
Okay y'all, remember, you are more than welcome to post your answers to these questions in my comment box! I'd love to see what you all have to say! :-)
What would you do if you were certain that nobody would judge your choices?
Live in an tent. I would bathe in rivers, swim in springs, observe nature daily and nightly. I went camping recently and had to live in a tent for four days, and it was such a freeing experience. All materialistic things were not even in my mind. I got to spend quality time with people I love, worship my Maker all day and night, sit by campfires enjoying music from our own mouths, and just have an overwhelming feeling of joy fill my body and soul. It made me realize how materialistic the world has become, and quickly we have forgotten the "free beauty" all around us. No, it is not a PERFECT lifestyle...there are insects, and extreme temperatures, and storms! But, I made it through all of that and still preferred that lifestyle. If no one would judge or criticize me, I guarantee you my boys and I would be living at a campground from April to October every year. Seriously.
What are your three "nevers" in life?
1. Never talk MORE than you listen.
2. Never betray someones trust.
3. Never allow your faith to be shaken, or be persuaded to "bend" on certain standpoints in your beliefs.
Which is a stronger emotion: anger or love?
I am definitely gonna have to go with love. I have been on both sides of this coin, and I can say with 100% certainty that love is much stronger.
When I get angry I will fly off the handle, no doubt about it. Especially if I am angry because my boys were wronged in some way or another. However, once the anger has passed, and the situation is in a better place, your mind will let go of those memories over time. I can't even begin to name all the things I have been angry about.
Love is a different story, I can tell you ever time my heart has been broken. When you fall in love, you are in a completely vulnerable state (unless you are not loving whole-heartily). That vulnerability will cause so much more pain! Every time I have been hurt by love, it leaves scars that never fully go away. I also can't forget the pain that love caused, but I can slowly forget anger.
If you look at love and anger in a different light, I still believe love is stronger...
When I love, I love with every fiber of my being. When I give my heart, it is in it's entirety. Loving another is the best gift you can give another person. My "love" towards others will always outweigh anger. I can love my son with everything in me, and I can be angry at him with everything in me....but honestly, the love will always be stronger.
I think a lot of my opinions on this have to do with my faith. God says to love your neighbors as yourself, and to love and obey your spouse, ans to love your children, etc.... Love is very important to God. And if you can't love others as HE loves US, how can you expect joy in your life?
The Bible also speaks about anger, and how we should control it. We should turn the other cheek, forgive those who trespass against us, etc... Instead of rising up in anger, we should try to turn that emotion into love. I said TRY, I know it is hard.
Would you give your life to save someone else's?
I can look at this question from two standpoints, physically and spiritually.
Physically speaking I would say yes I could easily give my life to save my boys' lives. I think that ANY mother would be able to say the same, it is our instinct. And since we have such strong maternal instinct, we want to protect others. So if I were caught in the middle of some disaster with my family of friends, I may jump in to help, I don't think I could run or sit and watch, even if it meant losing my life.
Spiritually speaking the answer is YES. No questions asked. If my life could be used to save even ONE could from eternal damnation, then dying would totally be worth it. I want to see everyone saved, and sometimes people need a dramatic sign (like death) from God to change their lives. I would hope that all Bible believing Christians are with me on this!
Can you describe your life with a six word sentence?
Confessed my sins, will live eternally.
What is the difference between living and existing?
I think this question is super easy. :)
Existing is just doing the bare minimum in life...waking up, eating, bathing, etc... You really have no goals, or beliefs, and you are just waiting for you time here to be up.
Living is...well, LIVING! Going about and beyond the daily life routines. Making sure you enjoy your time with others, tucking your kids in at night, praying, setting goals, having a walk with God, watching the clouds pass by in the sky, being grateful for small things, smiling, making sure you do everything you want to do....no regrets!
Are you aware that someone has it worse than you?
Always. I say this to my boys all the time. It is so easy to sink into self pity when the world seems to continuously crash down around you, but you have to keep your head held high. When money troubles get to me, I think of homeless people, or people with no food or clothing. I am blessed with what I have. When I get upset about my cancer, I think of the parents that will watch their toddler die from the disease this month. I am thankful I am not living in a hospital like so many others. When I get depressed about restructuring my life as a single parent, I think about the nurse that told me her husband left her after 30 years of marriage, for a YOUNG woman. She had never worked, and she never saw it coming. I am thankful mine was only 10 years, I cannot imagine 30...I am blessed.
Time or money?
Time.
Money buys you trouble and gets you into sin.
Time will get you more evening with your children, more sunrises, more of everything that truly matters.
Okay y'all, remember, you are more than welcome to post your answers to these questions in my comment box! I'd love to see what you all have to say! :-)
Friday, July 2, 2010
What do you need?
Hmm....such a simple (!!), thought provoking (ha) question. Let me think...
~I need money, it can buy me happiness.
~I need somewhere to run when I am confronted.
~I need to live a "charmed" life behind all the mirrors I have put up.
~I need to not be blamed for that person's cancer!
~I need a back-up plan when I screw up again.
~I need to talk the talk, but NEVER walk the walk.
~I need you to know I AM I AM I AM a good person. I I I
~I need to get all the attention I can, anyway I can get it.
Okay okay okay...let me shut up now!
I don't need any of that, but of course, those of you who know ME already know that! :) I will stop this (silly) confusion.
Most of you are probably not following this, just a select few that understand. And of course, you :-) that told me first (we are becoming fast friends, thanks babe). I love just having sources call me, without even asking or caring, it is seriously funny! And becoming friends with people you NEVER you befriend. Life is so bizarre.
Just ignore this if you are lost! =D
~I need money, it can buy me happiness.
~I need somewhere to run when I am confronted.
~I need to live a "charmed" life behind all the mirrors I have put up.
~I need to not be blamed for that person's cancer!
~I need a back-up plan when I screw up again.
~I need to talk the talk, but NEVER walk the walk.
~I need you to know I AM I AM I AM a good person. I I I
~I need to get all the attention I can, anyway I can get it.
Okay okay okay...let me shut up now!
I don't need any of that, but of course, those of you who know ME already know that! :) I will stop this (silly) confusion.
Most of you are probably not following this, just a select few that understand. And of course, you :-) that told me first (we are becoming fast friends, thanks babe). I love just having sources call me, without even asking or caring, it is seriously funny! And becoming friends with people you NEVER you befriend. Life is so bizarre.
Just ignore this if you are lost! =D
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