♥ sick.

As most of you know, Samuel was born with two holes in his ♥ that were repaired one month after his second birthday. Since then, he has had a few spells of chest pain but nothing super severe. And, all EKGs and Echos were normal. So I just brushed off his chest pain- not to mention his cardiologist made me feel like I was being an overprotective mother.

During the last two years Samuel has had a GREAT deal of trouble with his breathing. So, reluctantly, I take him back to his cardiologist a year ago. His EKG is no longer that same as it has been for years, so we did an Echo follow up. Samuel has what is called a "Right Bundle Branch Block." The cardiologist said it was his "normal," and that I should not worry about it. So, again, I let it got.

About 6 months ago the breathing problems were really starting to bother me. Samuel does have asthma, but mother's instinct told me that this was more than asthma. I called the cardiologist again and made an emergency appointment.

I could see the the doctor was annoyed that I was back, he thought I was so paranoid about Samuel's every move. If you knew me, then you know I am not! That kid has broken every bone, he has had to have his lower ear stitched back on, he is mister testosterone- the very definition of male.

Before I could get two words out of my mouth the doctor (and I use that term loosely here) told me that Samuel might be depressed. I could feel rage kicking in when I was picture myself holding his head down on the floor with a hot cow brander thingy. Nothing sets me off quite like the words, "it might be depression." AHHH!!

I remained calm and patient for Samuel's sake, but I wanted to squish that idiot and his little pea sized head. Please don't ever think that a medical degree qualifies you to be a doctor...case and point here.

I calmly said that Samuel was not depressed, I know what depression looks like, and it isn't blue lips after running one lap in PE. I was very adamant about Samuel receiving an Echo. So doctor Seuss ordered one, but he was not happy.

When we got back in the room to get his results, doctor Seuss came in with his tail tucked in between his legs. He sheepishly told me that Samuel has a new finding on his ultrasound since last years.

Along with the Right Bundle Branch Block, Samuel now has a Tricuspid Leak. The cardiologist, and his all knowing powers, and ginormous God complex, quickly said that it was no big deal and let us go. I was mad. Samuel is showing clear symptoms and now has evidence to prove there is a problem- and this wee little man is allowing his pride to get in the way of treating my son.

My mom and I brought Samuel home, who went straight to get a nap, since sleeping is his favorite past time anymore. We researched Tricuspid leaks and it does not look good. In fact, it looks bad.

I ended up emailing a top cardiologist at Nationwide Children's in Columbus. This doctor emailed me back in less than 48 hours, and told me that Samuel DEFINITELY needed to be looked over- this could not be ignored. She said at the VERY LEAST his idiot doctor could have preformed a stress test to see why the trouble breathing increases so much with activity. She also said that the leak needed to be measured to see if it should be repaired, since it is mixing the blue and red blood. So I am planning on taking him there to be looked over and evaluated.

I wanna do a big, fat, "naa naa nuh boo boo" face at his doctor while I shout, "I was right and you weren't!" I'm telling you, a mother's intuition is something that NO ONE should mess with. I know my babies inside and out, and if something is wrong, you better believe I will be the first to see the change in them.

Okay, let me calm down, I don't need to stay mad at that "doctor" forever.

On the flip side of all this is an eleven year old boy who is terrified to have another open heart surgery. All he wants is normalcy in his life, he wants to do jump rope team w/out have to take a break after EVERY trick. It is actually very sad.

So what are we doing to ease the fear in him? Prayer. We believe that God will not give us more than we can handle, so I know Samuel will be okay. We also believe in miracles, and God could close that hole, and take all of Samuel's fear away. We have prayer warriors at church, school, in the family, and even friends...so no matter what, we KNOW that God's will will be done in this situation. And we always accept God's will for our lives.

Samuel is a faithful servant of God, and his health problems never shake his faith. I am so proud of him, because not all children can be that strong. I speak from personal experience, I never lost faith being diagnosed at 14, but the journey was not easy. This is not easy for my baby, but I feel like the biggest blessing in the world is my comfort in knowing that he is saved, and truly loves God with all of his ♥.