My Dearest Dwight,
I love you so much, that love will never die. You came into my life at the perfect time, and you listened to me cry for hours when Justin left our home. You would sit with me and purr, you would lick me, you had such an unconditional love.God made you just for me.
When your brothers and sisters moved in with us in May, you accepted them all, as if you had never left them. And as much I love your two sisters and your three brothers...you were special to me. I remember bringing you into our home at 5 weeks old, and you were so frightened by every sound. It didn't take long for you to trust me, and we quickly became partners in crime.
Every single day when Justin and the kids left for school you would run and jump on my lap and drool while I did my school work. Some days, you wanted so much attention that you would lay on my keyboard and demand that I give you 100% of my undivided attention. Which I always gladly did, anyone would have caved to your cute little face.
It wasn't long after Justin left that I decided your entire family could move in with us, as therapy for the boys and I. And wow, what therapy your guys were. You not only kept us on our toes, but also the dogs. I loved watching you go out into the living room as a teeny little kitten and demand that the dogs move so you could lay on the couch, and 120 pound, great dane Lisa, complied with the rules of a 2 pound kitty. Clearly you had a sense of humor.
I wish every cat in the world could have the life you have had, one full of love. There was never a night that we spent without you until this week. You would not come home when I called and called. Why didn't you come home? It was so cold. I went outside at least 6 times, midnight was the last time, and you still didn't come back. This was not like you at all, and I stayed up and worried all night. Michael missed you terribly, he is so used to cuddling with you and Nelly at night. Samuel wasn't even here to say goodbye. How could leave without saying goodbye to those boys, who loved you unconditionally?
What happened to you that night you were gone? Where were you? Did you just get so cold that you got pneumonia? Did you get hit by a car? These questions are killing me. When you did come home, I noticed a difference in you, but I had faith that my strong baby boy would pull out okay.
Today, when I saw you laying in the living room, sickly, I scooped you up gently and brought you to my bedroom. I enjoyed our two hour nap together, you looked at me in the eyes, and I know you felt loved and safe. I also thought that I could "love" you out of whatever was wrong with you. When you slowly got off of my bed and went to lay on the floor, I just thought you were hot. So I decided to run to the store, a decision I will always regret.
When I got home, I walked in my room and saw a suspicious fluid all over the floor. I lost it and called your grandma Lauri and grandpa Steve in my room to help me find you....you were not in sight. Steve found you curled up under my night stand right next to my bed on the cool, hardwood floor, it was as if you were trying to get away from the warm carpet. I am so sorry I was gone and not here to help you.
When Steve looked at me my heart sank, there was a sadness in his eyes. I know that you were glad to see your family, and I know you heard me crying, but that was just because I wasn't ready to lose you. Steve said that you would gasp for air, then about 30 seconds later you gasped again. By this time I was frantically trying to get you into the vet so you didn't have to be in any pain or suffer. The vet agreed to see you in 15 minutes.
Steve gently place you in your bed and we surrounded you with familiar smelling blankets. Once I sat down next to you in the car, I screamed at Steve, because you were gone. Your little chest had collapsed, and your were no longer moving. The entire ride there I continued to pet you and love you, and plead with you to breathe. Why wouldn't you just breathe for a little bit longer?
When we got to the vet, they confirmed the worst, and I didn't want to believe them, I never thought you would leave me. You helped me through some of the roughest nights in my life, I talked to you like you were my family...and you were. How could you go? Why didn't you just come home that night? Why did I go to the store today instead of staying by your side? I am so sorry Dwight, not that sorry means anything now.
When I left the vet I called your two brothers, and they were devastated. You remember how they would come and get you every night, they feel lost without you. They loved calling you DWIG instead of Dwight, and I think you secretly liked the bond you had with them. They are mostly sad that they were not here to say goodbye. They boys will also miss you scratching at their door every night when you were ready to fall asleep.
Your birth siblings are all very confused, especially CallieAllie. She was your bestest friend since birth, and she keeps sniffing were you last laid in my bedroom, I think she is lost without her favorite brother. And I know you don't really remember this, since you were not fully conscious at the time, but CallieAllie and Sylvestor spent about 15 minutes licking at cleaning you, and then CallieAllie just laid her head next to you and stayed there.
Dwight, I loved you from the first minute I saw you, just a day after your birth. I will always remember you. And, I pray that God will bring you back to me in heaven.
Forever and longer-
Mom
Dwight's life in pictures, may he rest in peace and be pain free. :-(
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