Tomorrow's the big day.

Let me start off by saying that I hate screws! And not in the dirty sense peoples, get your heads out of the gutter. ;-) I hit a screw today and now have a frickin flat tire. As you'll recall, I just had those $700 tires put on last week. Luckily, the screw falls under my warranty, so fixing it is free. I guess today is just not my day.

Tomorrow I will be taking the kids to school in my moms car that I HATE! But, beggars can't be choosers. Then I am off to school, which, sadly, might be the most relaxing part of my day. After that I will rush to Flynn's to drop off my tire...hopefully just in enough time to get home and pick up my mom by 2:15.

Once I get my mom I have to go to the dermatologist to get my scalping results. That is gonna be fun! Plus, as I mentioned before, I have to get a totally body check! FUN FUN FUN

After that I will drop my mom and pick up my kids, who should be pretty close to death at this point, you know, from starvation and all. :-) So, I will go home and get them supper...and, hopefully see Justin for a split second during supper as well.

Justin has to go get my tire after supper but before his classes start...so he is gonna be booking it too. But, this will finally be my time to relax, I am thinking a nice hot shower followed by a sappy love movie. Yep, that sounds like a perfect ending to a busy day.

Well, this is all how is it SUPPOSED to go, I'll let you know tomorrow what actually happened. And...I just know you are all dying for my results!! I promise not to gross you out with anymore scalping pictures!!! I'm over that now.

There are probably a million grammar errors, but I am not proof-reading this! I'm tired, quit being so judgmental y'all!! :o)~

Report Card Day

Samuel and Michael came home with report cards today, I am only excited because this means we only have one quarter left before summer!

Samuel's grades....

*Bible A same
*Language A- up from B+
*Soc Stu A up from A-
*Art A- down from A
*PE A same
*Spanish A up from A-
*Math(6th Grade) A same
*Reading A- down from A
*Spelling A+ same
*Science A+ up from A
*Music A+ same
*Computer A+ up from A
*Orchestra A up from A-


Michael's grades....

[They no longer give grades. I know, I hate it too! The scale is- O= Outstanding, S+= Satisfactory Strength, S= Satisfactory, S-= Satisfactory Weakness, N= Needs Improvement, U= Unsatisfactory]

*Bible O same
*Language S same
*Math A uh, it was S last time, lol
*Science S+ up from S
*Music O same
*Computers O same
*Reading B down from A-
*Spelling A uh, it was S+ last time
*Soc Stu S+ same
*Art S+ down from O
*PE O same
*Spanish S+ same

Clearly Michael's teacher is having a hard time adjusting to the new grade method also. :-)

These are the teacher comments from the first three quarters...

Samuel-

1-Sam is a creative, multi-talented young man. He is adjusting well to LCCS and easily make friends. 2-Sam is innovative and social. He is encouraged to double check his work to reflect his true abilities. 3-Sam is a deep thinker. He would benefit from double checking and organizing his work.

Michael-

1- Michael does very well with addition facts. He is a very considerate person in the classroom. 2- Michael is quick to volunteer to help with things around the classroom. Thank you Michael. Michael does not always have his homework done on time. 3- Good job on the Science Fair project!!!

Okay let me just say a few things here...

First, Samuel is always gonna turn his work in without double checking it, that is his nature. He is unorganized and scatterbrained....show me a gifted kid who isn't! But, he really should organize his work better, especially his writing...he is such a creative writer.

Second, Michael will always volunteer to help so he can get out of actual school work. We held this child back to catch up, not change trashes and dust erasers! :) I love him anyway, even though he isn't fond of school work...he is strictly there so socialize.

All in all the kiddos did very well and I am proud of them. They have officially earned all of their stuff back! They were grounded from the computer and Wii until grades were brought up. They started slacking half way through this quarter and we had to get mean! Grrr. :)

Okay, that is more than anyone wants to know about my kids....I am off to bed now!

Nothing nice to say...

When I started this blog I wanted to make a new entry every single day. I am still very much committed to that. However, today has been a sucko day... I don't really want to say anything. Sometimes when you feel bad you say things you don't mean, so I would rather not talk.

I am extremely tired, very sore, and I believe I am running a fever...on top of all this, Samuel won't be home until 8pm, so I can't get to bed early. Wonderful. I am just gonna do a little school work, fold some laundry, and lay down and watch IN TREATMENT.

Tomorrow's blog will be better, that is a promise.

Adoption Update...

Quickly peoples, I am about to leave...

We went to the meeting on Thursday...everything went good. As of right now, EVERYTHING is on hold until the disruption is official. No one can tell Nathan anything until the judge signs disruption papers. The time frame for this to be done is around May/June-ish.

Right now, we are increasing visits with Nathan...he will be with us ALMOST every weekend. In June, when school is out, we will increase the visits from one night to three or four nights and so on. The goal is to have him moved in by mid-July to end of July to he has plenty of time to adjust before school.

I am planning on him going to LCCS with the boys of course. I gotta work on getting him tested during the summer. I know that he will really be able to thrive at LCCS, it is a great school.

That's about all folks!! I will do my very best to update every time something happens. But like I said, everything is riding on the disruption, so we have to wait for that.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN!

I don't wanna write too much tonight, it is taking away from my time with Justin! I have a lot to say about the adoption meeting, but I will have to get into those details tomorrow.

But, for today...

Justin, I love you (even though you make fun of the movie Titanic)! I have loved you since I was 16....and I saw you step off that bus and fall into those lockers. ;) I will love you forever, and I am thankful for every year we get together...no matter how old you are now! And, you are old. Happy birthday hun- I hope you had a great day. Now, please put on your birthday suit so we can get this party started!!! ~*

There's no place like home!

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Last night we went to the Cavs game and we had a ball. Samuel was still feeling a little under the weather, and boy did he pay today. But, in hindsight, I'd say that he had fun and would do it all over again.

We arrived exactly as the gates opened so we had plenty of time to walk around and do the fun stuff. The kids did a few basketball things that were set up, and we also took some cheesy pics in front of all the cliche photo ops. :) Here is a cheezy pic...



Next, we arrived at The Scream Team....wowza. I always love seeing them perform. The did pop-n-lock, crunk, and even got old school with the Humpty Dance! It was amazing. They asked Samuel to come up and he did, he had a ball. This is one of the pics I took after he did his moves, check out The Scream Team and how much they supported him in the pic (They are amazing with kids.)...




After we got done having fun we went to find out seats. Then, the game officially started. It was a great game, the Cavs won...they have won every home game except for one! It was touch and go in the 4th quarter, it was tied up with 4 minutes to go...but they pulled it off. Like I said, "There's no place like home!" Oh wait, maybe that was Dorthy...hmm..

You really have to go to a Cavs game to feel the excitement in the air there, the kids love it. Fans are loud and crazy! Here are my insane fans...



That is a very brief summary of the night, I am working on a Youtube video for tomorrow...it is gonna be AMAZING! I will post the ink on here when I get done.

Gotta get some sleep peoples!!!


c

Let's talk adoption.

Hello Friends- I am here to fill everyone in on our adoption, if they don't already know. I know right, FINALLY!

About 2 years ago Justin and I decided we wanted to adopt, so we called around about it. NOAS in Warren was the most helpful, so we did a weekend crash course to finish all of our pre-adoption classes. We did these classed less than one week after deciding to adopt. If you have every tried to foster or adopt you know that there are tons of mandatory classes that families must take.

Once our classes were finished we started the homestudy process. This is when a case worker comes over to visit and interview your family- usually about 3 or 4 times. We also had to get background checks and fire inspections during this time. MAN, it is a lot of work to adopt.

Justin and I decided that we wanted school aged boys, and they had to be close in age to Samuel and Michael- but not older than Samuel. Other than that we only had one rule, the child(ren) could not be animal aggressive, I love my animals too much and I am not even willing to go there.

Once our homestudy was done we started looking at the kiddos on AdoptOhio, we would submit our homestudy for any of the kiddos that matched our criteria. We did say no to two different boys shortly after we were approved by the state, because of animal aggression and some religious problems. It wasn't hard saying no, we are bringing a new child into this family, I want someone who will adjust well to the dynamics of our home.

In January, we were approached about a little guy named Nathan. He is a doll. At first, we were just gonna provide respite (I think that is what it's called) for the family. Basically we would just help to relieve some of their stress by watching Nathan occasionally. We were totally fine with that, no skin off my back.

By the beginning of February we were talking adoption. Of course our family was elated, we have waited so long for this. As of today, we have had 3 visits and one overnight with Nathan and he has been very well behaved. He is truly a great little kid.

There have been a few weird things happen that make me think he is the one. First of all, he treats Samuel and Michael like he has known them his entire life. He loved playing at our house, and even loves the dogs...he didn't mind my animals at all- this shocked me. He jokingly calls me and Justin "mom and dad" when he is with us, how freaky weird is that? The private school that my boys attend is working with me to get him into that school next year if he is living with us by then. All these things make me think it is meant to be. And I am one of those people...IF IT'S MEANT TO BE, IT'LL BE!

I don't know if the family has started the adoption disruption, I will find out tomorrow. We have a meeting with all of the case workers and Nathan's family, and of course, us! It should be good, my case worker is good about laying everything out on the table at those meetings. I got lucky, let me tell you, not all case workers are created equal.

Now every one has the "Reader's Digest" version of our adoption story. I promise to keep you updated on all the ins and outs of it! :)

Boring Day [but it's not over]

Today I had a thousand and one errands to run, and still didn't finish everything on my list. Oh, and, I had to drag Samuel's sick butt around with me, fun times yo!

BUTTT...if is day 2 of Justin's Birthday Week! :-) I am trying to make one of his favorite meals every night this week...tonight was hamburgers, macaroni salad, and baked beans. Yum Yum Yum I also got some "balloon" cookies at Giant Eagle, double yum yum yum!

We are about to wrap up the day with 'family game night' with the the kiddos. That should be fun! We have such a busy day tomorrow, it will be nice having a relaxing night.

Tomorrow I wake up and take the boys the school, then I have to take Samuel to the orthodontist at 1:00. When we get there we will meet Justin and head out to eat dinner at McDonald's. We bought McFamily night tickets to the CAVS, so we are grabbin our McD's then headin to the game. Should be a good night.

I know that I still haven't blogged about the adoption...I swear I am working on it!! ;-)

Here is a pic of our yummy cookies!

Dermatologist Appointment

I got scalped today! Okay, not quite, but I feel like I did. The Dermatologist decided that the sore on my head had to be biopsied. My mom, grandma, and uncle all had Basal Cell, and my great grandpa died of Melanoma...so with the strong family history (and, of course, my history) she wanted to cover all her bases.

Here is a break down of the appointment...

The doc walks in, looks at my head for about 15-20 second...then says, "This needs biopsied." I was turning blood red, because I freak out at ANY doctors appointment, she thought I was panicking about the biopsy. She quickly says, "No, it's probably nothing!" She says that as she hands me a BASAL CELL pamphlet to take home and look over- I AM NOT MAKING THAT UP PEOPLES! Could she be more obvious, the she looks at the nurse and says that they need to put a RUSH on the results. Haha, she could have been a little more cool about the situation.

Anyhow, I was not turning red because of my head problems, I have been turning that red since I was 16- every single time I see a doctor. Basal Cell is really not a worry in my mind, at least not to freak out about. However, three $%^&* shots in my head is!!!! :o)~

After the biopsy was done, she told me to come in next week for results, she said she didn't want to give me results over the phone. That's great, one more copay- I paid $60 in co-pays today, plus scripts! And maybe you didn't hear, but I had to get new tires on Saturday...$700 worth of tires...I feel like I am drowning in debt. Moving on- my appt. is on April 1st, I will get results, plus she demanded a total body check for suspicious areas. I hear that those are so much fun, really looking forward to it!

Okay, here are some pics...

This first on is after I was scalped :-(



The second on here is of Justin applying the ointment to my head to prevent Staph- what a good husband!

It was a crazy night.

Last night Nathan stayed with us, and we are so tired today. That little guy kept us busy, all night and all morning. We actually had a ball with him, he was so good- just talkative. I plan on blogging about the details tomorrow- as well as going into more of the adoption story.

Anyhow, I am so tired right now, I don't want this blog to sound stupid when I read it tomorrow, so I am gonna be brief. I will just leave you with a little peak into last night, a photo of Michael and Nathan peacefully sleeping at midnight...


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How cute are these baby dolls? I wish Samuel had been here, I could have captured all three of them snoozing away. :) Ah well.

Nighty night y'all!

Ready Freddy!

My Spring Break has officially arrived- at 9:45 tonight! Parrrr tayy! I had one last paper to send in and now I am finished.

I have so many plans over Spring Break..

Tomorrow- Church
Monday- Drive kids to and from school.
Tuesday- Drive kids to and from school.
Wednesday- Drive kids to and from school.
Thursday- Drive kids to and from school.
Friday- Drive kids to school, beg Steve to pick them up. Bathe dogs.

Ahhh haaa! Jealous?! I know I know I know...I can party with the best of them! :)

No, I'm kidding, I actually do have a few plans. Tonight Mr. Nathan is spending the night, yay! Tomorrow we will go to church then lunch then take him home. About the time we get home- Samuel should be back. (Good, I totally miss him and want him home, I don't even know why!)

Monday I am headed to the Dermatologist to have my head nasty looked at (see previous blog). Huh, and just think, I could be Spring Breakin in Panama City.

Tuesday I am volunteering at LCCS, then Michael has TRIBE after school...I am gonna try and get some good pics that day.

Wednesday Samuel is going to the Orthodontist at 1:00- then- then- then- then-----AND THEN....we head to a CAVS GAME! Fun times yo. We are going for Justin's birthday, even though he won't be TWENTY NINE until Friday.

Thursday Justin and I have an adoption meeting, I am actually looking forward to that. The meeting is at night, so my day is pretty free. I have mandatory volunteer time that I have to complete for my HDFS class, so maybe I should get it done that day.

Friday!!!!!!!!!!!! JUSTIN'S BIRTHDAY!!! I can't write what I am gonna do on here! ;) No, I'm playin. We are probably gonna hit Damon's before Samuel leaves that night! Yum yum yummy!

(start sarcastic tone here)Then I will need the weekend to gather myself for school on Monday. All this craziness...wow! (end sarcastic tone)

On another note- today sucked! I took my van in for an alignment that I could barely afford....and left with four new tires because my tread was at legal limit. That's right people, I racked up a hefty $700 bill today....wtf am I gonna do!?! Pardon my french.

Tonight was better though, we went to Pizza Hut with Nathan, it was fun. That child talks almost as much as Samuel, and here I was thinking Samuel was unique. Clearly they were twins in a past life! :-)

I'm gonna wrap this up now, gotta go see if the boys are asleep. For those of you who know nothing about our adoption- I will try to blog about it tomorrow, inform you of what's going on, and catch up the ones who already know.

Unhappily Unhealthy

My plethora of health problems annoys me to no end. I am just trying not to lose my mind this semester, I feel like I am SLAMMED with school work...with all that stress you KNOW something else had to go wrong. You know - WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS. I love whoever said that, so true.

I have had this sore spot on my head for as long as I can remember, it has been there a minimum of 3 years. I scratch it every now and again, no biggie, just probably eczema...I have severe eczema. The other night I scratched it and pulled my hand- COVERED IN BLOOD. How freakin gross is that nastiness!??!?!!?

I had Justin wash it, then cut the hair so we could see it. He said, "I dunno Hollie, it looks bad, you have a bunch of small red spots (about the size of a half dollar)." So, I had him take a picture for me, I needed to see what was going on. It did look gross, but I laughed it off at first.

I called my mom and told her, she freaked. She said she wanted me to make an appt. with a dermatologist to make sure it isn't basal or squamous cell carcinoma. Both are no big deal at all, not compared to what I have been through anyway. BUT, I am freaking out about them removing ANYTHING on my head and/or cutting more of my hair off. Like the small bald spot isn't bad enough. Justin was like, "Don't worry honey, we can be bald together!" Wow, those are definitely words of comfort. (insert dramatic eye roll here)

I just thought everyone would like to know what I have to look forward to on Monday. I know, I know, I know...you all WISH you could be me! :o)~ Hopefully the dermatologist won't even wanna remove it...HOPEFULLY!

Here is a pic of the grossness...



You can click all pics to make them bigger.

Changing Things

Yesterday was a horrific day, after I got the cancer news I came home to a dead lizard, which broke Samuel and Michael's hearts. Death's sting was all around us yesterday. There is no comparing human life to an animal, but it does help kids grasp the idea of death. This is starting to sound morbid, let's change things...

Crying uncontrollably, not wanting to talk to anyone, etc... was my way of dealing with all of the horrible situations that were surrounding us. I am someone who can fall into a depression very easily, so I try to make conscience efforts to stay in reality. When you fall into a depression you lose touch with the world. Wow, now it doesn't sound morbid, it sounds sad...let's change things again...

Once I had made up my mind to quit crying, I went outside to play with my dogs. There is no greater therapy than playing with an animal that loves you unconditionally. I pulled out the hose to squirt Lisa, she LOVES the hose and she went insane when she saw me turn it on. Before I knew it the boys had run outside to play with us, I held them hostage in the grass with the hose. I told them, "That is what you get for coming out without permission, now you must get wet!" The starting laughing hysterically, a child's laugh is infectious.

Before I knew, I was laughing, and we were having fun in the yard. The dogs were soaked, the kids were drenched, and I was having too much fun with that hose. As it turns out, playing in the yard for an hour was all the therapy I needed to appreciate life.

Don't let time get away from you, spend as much time as you can with your family... just laughing and joking in the backyard is all it takes. :-)

I want to comment on the three pictures that I am posting with this...

1. The sun yesterday, it was eerily beautiful...that photo could tell yesterdays story with no words at all.

2. Michael's photo, he wouldn't look at the camera, I think he was still dealing with the shock of learning about the death of a friend. You can see love that Michael has for everyone and everything in that picture.

3. Samuel's photo, he looked at me, I was sitting below him, and I couldn't believe how old and mature he looked...so I snapped the picture. I feel like my baby is grown, and yesterday I saw him with new eyes.

Cancer Sucks!

I don't have a lot of emotion right now- sort-of a blank, numb feeling all over my body.

My cancer story has opened the door to many new friendships that I am grateful for. I have a friend who had breast cancer(twice)...a friend who has had melanoma...a friend who has had cervical and uterine cancer...and a few friends who have had thyroid cancer. Meeting someone who is a cancer survivor isn't like meeting someone off the streets, they're different. If you are every lucky enough to have a cancer survivor in your life you will understand where I am coming from.

One of my good friends has already been torn apart by the devastating effects that cancer can have on a family. As if losing one family member wasn't enough, she lost another member today. I don't even know what to say to her. People think that being a cancer survivor makes you have some magical words that can help a horrendous situation, but that just isn't true. I actually think it is harder, because you know EXACTLY how they feel, and nothing can make that better.

So here I am, numb. With nothing to say my friend.

When I was a teenager I couldn't understand why "friends" dropped me after my cancer diagnosis. I even had a boyfriend (a very SHALLOW boyfriend) say to me as he was breaking up with me, "I don't wanna be kissing you and you drop dead." Secretly my feeling were always hurt by these so-called friends, but I always acted like I didn't care what others thought. Now, as an adult, I realize that these kids may have been protecting themselves against feeling any pain or sadness if something would have happened to me. I couldn't understand it then, but now I do.

I am not saying that I don't want friends who might die, what a shallow way to live life. I'm saying it's hard....hard to hear about cancer killing people...hard to see it happening...hard to talk about without getting depressed...and hard to fathom death.

I am thankful for everyday that I am with my family. Just being with family is something that gets overlooked too many times by too many people. I am thankful for my friends, no matter what diseases they do or don't have. I am thankful for my family and friends everyday, it doesn't take a death for me to know how very blessed I am.

I'm not sure why I felt the need to blog this, but here it is, everything going on in my mind right now.

It's easier than it looks!

I got about six emails telling me that my new blog is not viewable. However, Justin could view it fine. So, I am gonna send out a link one more time, hopefully everyone can see it. To read my new blogs you should hit the "follow me" button on the right hand side. I believe you will get a notification of new blogs...please let me know if I am wrong. I am new to this site, I WAS a Myspace blogger until now. I am hoping to blog more often about more things that I wanna say...I love writing, so I may blog too much! :)

Nostalgia’s Awkward Timing

Last night my husband and I watched The Perfect Storm after my mother had highly recommended it for many years now. We had the window air conditioning unit turned on to “medium cool” due to the warm weather in Brimfield that day. Our room was dark and chilly, the tip of my nose felt as solid as an ice cube. Justin and I crawled into our king size bed with fresh sheets and blankets that smelled like my floral fabric softener. Once we were lying together I could slowly feel my nose and finger tips warm up. It was officially time to start our nightly movie… a habit in our home that I look forward to every day.

The movie started with ocean scenes and shots of fishermen living their dreams. The movie painted such an accurate portrait of what a fisherman’s life is really like; I couldn’t help but feel like I was a part of that. The camera shots were so beautiful; you could almost smell the ocean through the television. All of a sudden I felt like my past had come back to me, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Here I was, in Northeast Ohio, lying in the arms of husband, living my ideal definition of a good life- why was this sort-of homesick feeling rushing over me?

I cannot remember how many times I went out on the boats with my dad, a fisherman in Destin, Florida. The boats in The Perfect Storm were strikingly similar to the boats I had been on as a little girl. I remember the boats being filthy with fish scales and guts, but it wasn’t so filthy that I didn’t wanna go out with the boys. My little brother was part of the crew, all the boys were- and age doesn’t matter on a boat, they all had to pull their own weight. But I was one of only two girls, we never had to do anything, just enjoy the ocean. And I did.

I never cared for my dad growing up; he was never there for my family- financially or emotionally. I honestly cannot remember ever having an attachment to him. Going out on the boats meant that I had to with him, like or not. If you have ever been on a real fishing boat then you understand the romance that can be associated with it. I would have gone out on the boat with anyone, didn’t matter who. I loved reaching our destination and looking out from the deck and only seeing ocean- for miles and miles. I loved watching the men work so hard to pull the fish in. I loved going down in the ice boxes to play with the other kids. I loved jumping in and swimming in the middle of the ocean. I love watching the dolphins try to keep up with the boat. It is an experience I will never forget.

When the day was over and we came back to shore a new excitement filled the air. All of the kids would jump off the boat and go get popsicles from the residents. The men would unload the fish and the cleaning began. I remember this looking like a small community in its own right. There were dozens and dozens of people around, cleaning fish, counting fish, boxing fish, etc… The workers all came together, making this small fishing site look like a factory. The kids would go check out the new addition to the freezer, usually a shark hanging by its tail. Then we would head over to the giant freezers and play in them, a great way to beat the heat in Florida. Occasionally there were so many fish that we had to leave the small factory and go swim in the ocean to stay out of the way. If we weren’t up for swimming we could gather up some fish heads to take over to some of the stray cats. It seemed as if there were hundreds of stray cats, all with fat bellies full of fish.

When everyone left for the day it seemed eerily calm; the conveyor belts had stopped, the freezers were locked, the boats were tied up, and the voices were gone. I was always amazed that this lively place seemed to die a new death everyday. Nothing but silence and fish scales were left. Going home was my reality- the fishing boats seemed romantic, but home is where my heart wanted to be. I could get warm showers, turn on the television, eat a big supper, and tell my mother about the day.

Like I said in the title, nostalgia’s timing is awkward. I am happy with my life; I wouldn’t change it, so why was The Perfect Storm making me sad? One movie captured enough emotion to bring my past rushing back, making it seem like I was missing out. I look back with fond memories, but I stay in reality- and my reality is here, with my husband, children, and my mom.