My cancer story has opened the door to many new friendships that I am grateful for. I have a friend who had breast cancer(twice)...a friend who has had melanoma...a friend who has had cervical and uterine cancer...and a few friends who have had thyroid cancer. Meeting someone who is a cancer survivor isn't like meeting someone off the streets, they're different. If you are every lucky enough to have a cancer survivor in your life you will understand where I am coming from.
One of my good friends has already been torn apart by the devastating effects that cancer can have on a family. As if losing one family member wasn't enough, she lost another member today. I don't even know what to say to her. People think that being a cancer survivor makes you have some magical words that can help a horrendous situation, but that just isn't true. I actually think it is harder, because you know EXACTLY how they feel, and nothing can make that better.
So here I am, numb. With nothing to say my friend.
When I was a teenager I couldn't understand why "friends" dropped me after my cancer diagnosis. I even had a boyfriend (a very SHALLOW boyfriend) say to me as he was breaking up with me, "I don't wanna be kissing you and you drop dead." Secretly my feeling were always hurt by these so-called friends, but I always acted like I didn't care what others thought. Now, as an adult, I realize that these kids may have been protecting themselves against feeling any pain or sadness if something would have happened to me. I couldn't understand it then, but now I do.
I am not saying that I don't want friends who might die, what a shallow way to live life. I'm saying it's hard....hard to hear about cancer killing people...hard to see it happening...hard to talk about without getting depressed...and hard to fathom death.
I am thankful for everyday that I am with my family. Just being with family is something that gets overlooked too many times by too many people. I am thankful for my friends, no matter what diseases they do or don't have. I am thankful for my family and friends everyday, it doesn't take a death for me to know how very blessed I am.
I'm not sure why I felt the need to blog this, but here it is, everything going on in my mind right now.
Sorry about your friend. Praying that the family and you will be comforted.
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