Let me start off by saying this is the FIRST time in my life that I have EVER lived alone. I went from living with my mom, to Joel, to my mom, to Justin. Quite frankly, I was content with never living alone. But life is funny, and you don't always get to choose your path.
On May 1st 2009 I became a single mom, and let me just tell you...it is not for the weak. I have tons of help from family and friends, but raising two tween boys alone is challenge. I welcome the challenge, but it isn't easy.
I feel a thousand times more exhausted than I EVER did. Aside from not having help with daily discipline and chores...I am not stuck with the daily pressures of making ALL household decisions on my own. I have to worry about finances on my own, and that was hard enough with two people. The stress is almost unbearable. But I continue to get up and do it all over again everyday for my two miracle babies.
It has been exceptionally hard over the last few weeks because Samuel was VERY sick. We have been back and forth to the ER, we have had IVs run, and I had to do it all alone. I know that there are thousands of single moms that do this same thing everyday, and continue to prove just how strong women can be.
I believe that my boys will grow up and see the strength that I had through all of this and it will just make our relationship closer. In fact, that is already the case with Samuel. Michael has become clingy, VERY CLINGY, but we haven't had the deep conversations that Samuel and I have on a daily basis.
I just want to treat everyday as another opportunity to set an example for my kids. When they grow up I want them to be AMAZING parents, and I want them to learn how to do that from an amazing example. No matter how tired or frustrated I may get. ;-)
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