I did really good today, I even went on a field trip with my baby doll. But the circumstances, along with this date, has made my mind race all day. I am what-if-ing my marriage to death.
Anyway, I cannot get this song out of my head. So, today's blog will just be the lyrics, they mean so much to me, now more than ever...
Right Here Waiting
Richard Marx
____
Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Waiting for you
__________
I love you Hollie. I know there are no two situations that can be identical, so based on what happened to me and what I learned/realized when my husband left...
ReplyDelete-I thought with pain like that I would surely die, but what happened was far worse. I didn't and had to face the hurt and still maintain a good composure for Elijah while doing so.
-I learned (after alot of time) that we really were better off in the end. I think it would have been far worse if Nathan would have stayed in a situation/relationship in which he was unhappy and became resentful towards me or Elijah. I came to realize I'd much rather be alone, than be in a relationship that the other person didn't even want to be in. What would have been the point? I think once it reaches that point, sure you could change or vice versa and "make things work", but what's the point really when it's supposed to be a team and there's a player on that team who's not all in. Maybe I'm not phrasing it right, but hopefully you get the point.
-I too was crushed and in shock when I came home to find him with his suitcase packed. I believed that forvever meant forever just as promised. I'm definately a "worse-case-senario" thinker towards life, but I never once thought that he would bail once shit got hard. I was in complete shock!
-I made the mistake of thinking he just needed some time to breathe, think things over/through, etc. and he would get his shit together and we'd figure out how to fix whatever he thought had gone wrong. Even after he started seeing other people I was still in denial and still waiting for him to come to his senses.
-He never did...
-I then of course went through a series of emotions...etc.
-Now, 5 yrs. later, I can't honestly look back and be thankful that things worked out the way they did. I've learned quite a lot and survived only to be a better and stronger example for my boys.
-There's nothing that is put in your life that is not there for a reason. Every person or thing or event is all there to teach you something and is a piece into the bigger picture ahead. There's a purpose whether you are able to see it right now or not.
-Now while we don't know all the answers and the whys and how comes...we have to believe that it is for a reason.
-If you never felt pain like this, you could not properly measure the true value of joy and happiness.
-It's going to suck for a while, but you'll survive. Just lean on the people around you that love you. Don't forget to take a little alone time out for yourself to process. I hope that it's sooner than later that things start healing in your life. Love you Hollie