They had a really bad day yesterday, there was a lot of crying. Samuel admitted to me that he was in denial. His exact words were, "Mom when I think about it, I'm like, NO WAY, he wouldn't leave us, he was so nice." That about broke my heart. Then he said, "At night when the TV is on I just lay there thinking about everything, I can't even watch the TV." After he said all of that he burst out in tears. I think it is only the third or fourth time he has cried. I was glad that he finally felt like he could talk to me.
Michael hasn't cried in a while, but he did yesterday. For about three hours straight. :-( He went on and on about how he doesn't wanna see dad anymore. Then he begged me to show him how to delete Justin from his friends list on Myspace. Of course I didn't, I know that he is just acting on emotions. BUT...I felt so sad for him. Michael doesn't talk about his feelings a lot, he will say something mean and then start crying. So sad.
They both go to the counselor again today. I REALLY hope that they can talk to her about all of their feelings, it is so important.
I still pray for them every night, I pray that God will keep the strong, give them peace, and I pray that they don't hold anger in their hearts. I know that one day they won't be sad or mad anymore. I wish that day would come sooner than later.
I keep telling my boys that they have such a strong family, and everyone loves them...even Justin. They say they know...they just don't act like they know. Like I have said a million times....we take it day by day...
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