Samuel has been having an emotional time lately. But tonight he was playing with Sam just fine...then when he got hurt (not even very bad) his whole demeanor change. I know he is really struggling with the divorce and he looks for opportunities to cry. Once he had one, he clung to it.
Since then he has made remarks like, "Yeah well, dad isn't here anymore." I am always taken aback by this. I am never quite sure what he needs to hear, I just pray that I say the right things to him. I know that comments like that don't just effect him, they effect Michael.
Michael has also been running hot and cold. However, he hides it much better from me. Occasionally he will blurt out something hurtful, but not as frequently as Samuel. Samuel is to the point that he doesn't want to be alone tonight. Few people can understand the rage of mama when her babies have been hurt.
I worked my whole life to make sure they had a "Leave it to Beaver" lifestyle, they NEVER expected this. Now they feel lost and don't know how to deal. So every night I try to make it right for them, but I know I can't completely heal their wounds. I just put a bandaid on it and kiss them and send them on there way. What else can I really do? I just feel like it's not enough. I don't want to see my babies cry over this anymore.
Anyhow...back to Sam's visit...
All in all they had a great night with him. They loved seeing him. They loved his attention. Samuel just needs a reason to vent sometimes, and he let his emotions build up for too long this time. But, before he got emotional, I snapped this pic of Sam and Samuel goofing off in the front yard....
Have a good night all.
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