No matter what.

You know what I have learned? A lot, that's what.

I am going through a rough time right now, but who hasn't gone through tribulations?

God gave me two kids, two AMAZING kids, He gave me a home, He gave me loving parents, He gave me a loving brother, and He gave me friends that are there for me no matter what. Can I really complain about my trials in life? If I complain, am I really grateful for what I have?

I had ten years of a happy marriage. Even if I was the only happy one...I thought we were both happy...so my naive thinking made me believe that I was in the fairytale marriage. And I must say, I ten amazing years. Who wouldn't be thankful for that? I can't look back and be mad, because at the time, I was perfectly happy.

I moved away from my home in Florida. I came up here to a strange land. I could be mad at that, but look at how far I have come since Florida. My whole family is here now, and they are all happily married or remarried...and I am so glad that they found love and success up here. It is a beautiful state, and I have seen things that I might not have ever seen staying in Florida. I go to college now, and I am half way done. I probably would have NEVER jumped back into school had I not been living in a college town. So how can I get mad at being so far from home when this is my home now? God sent me here, and this is where my heart is content now.

Grieving is normal. It doesn't mean I am not thankful for all that I HAD and all that I HAVE. It means that I feel pain like anyone else, and time will heal my heart. But for now, I try to focus on the positives in life.

This is the person that I want to become, and I am adamantly trying...

* I want to be able to forgive people no matter what. Life is too short to hold grudges. I wanna forgive and forget and move on.

* I want to walk according to God's word. I want others to see that there is something different in me. No matter how hard the walk is, I want to stay on the path...no matter what.

* I want to love with all of my heart. Even at the risk of it being broken. I want to love...no matter what.

* I want to be the role model that boys need to see. When they grow up, I want them to say, "I am this way because of my mom." I want to do right by them. No matter what.

* I want to be a good listener. Everyone has gone through tough times and needs someone to just sit and listen...I want to be that person. No matter what.

* I want my heart to be content no matter what circumstances I am going through. I know that sounds hard, but God wants me to be content. So I will always try to be content...no matter what.

* I want to be a trustworthy person. I want my family and friends to know that I am always there for them, I want them to trust me to be there. No matter what.


I want to start my life new, and become a new me. I know that I have the support of my family and friends...thank you. I love you all from the bottom of my heart. I hope and pray that you all know that.